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Batshit Crazy
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Prologue
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A belfry is a tower used to house the bells at a church. Once a church is no longer in use, the bells in the belfry are no longer rung. Without the periodic ringing of the bells, bats find the belfry a comfortable place to nest. Thus, the expression, bats in the belfry, implies that a person has nothing going on upstairs and the bats have come to nest. If the bells are not rung for a long time, then bat excrement will accumulate in the belfry. Therefore, the expression batshit crazy (BSC) means that a person has had nothing going on upstairs for so long the excrement has begun to accumulate.
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First Home in Iowa
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The first home we owned in Iowa was located in Clinton. Actually, we never owned the house but the bank allowed us to live there as long as the mortgage payments were on time. Unfortunately, we found that bats would make their way into the house from time to time. On one such occasion, the bat was flying around the first floor of the house from the living room to the kitchen to the dining room and back to the living room.
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When Sylvia realized that the creature flying around was a bat, she ran into the bathroom that was just off of the kitchen. Our son, Shawn, immediately followed her to seek safety in the bathroom as well. However, Sylvia had not only closed the door of the bathroom, but she also locked it. I suppose that she thought that the bat might be able to turn the doorknob to open the door and fly in. BSC.
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You have to picture this situation in your mind. Sylvia is hiding in the bathroom with the door closed and locked. Shawn is in the kitchen banging on the door to the bathroom begging his mother to let him in. I am standing in the living room near the door to the kitchen telling Sylvia to let Shawn in while the bat is constantly circling the kitchen, dining room, and living room.
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In the wild, when a duckling is threatened by a predator, the mother duck will feign an injured wing to draw the predator towards herself. Not Sylvia. She locks herself in the bathroom thereby locking her son outside with the perceived danger. BSC.
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I told Shawn to give up on the bathroom and to retreat to the upstairs floor. He did run to the stairs but he never did climb the stairs to the second floor. Instead, he stayed on the first or second step so he could peak through the doorway and watch what was going on. I stepped into the back porch to retrieve a tennis racket. You know what is going to happen next.
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I positioned myself in the living room between the doorway leading to the second floor where Shawn was peaking around the corner and the flight path of the bat. I did not want the bat to head towards Shawn or escape upstairs. John McEnroe would have been proud of my overhand smash sending the bat into the front wall of the living room. I could almost hear John shouting, "Are you kidding me?"
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Of course, now Shawn was overcome with curiosity and wanted to inspect the motionless bat. I used the racket to scoop up the bat, opened the front door and flicked it out on to the front porch. I was not sure if the bat was unconscious or deceased but I could worry about that tomorrow. Shawn and I went into the kitchen and with a little prodding convinced Sylvia that it was safe to come out.
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I asked her why she locked the bathroom door and she indicated that she was afraid that Shawn would open the door to come in and let the bat fly in with him. To her, it was better to leave her child out of her sanctuary and face the danger himself. BSC.
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